Here at Pixelfab Studios we have a habit of printing things big. Our main client, WMA, usually instigates these large-scale jobs. A few months ago, I designed and created a 45’x8′ banner. That’s enough banner to stop an entire team of bicyclists. We got it printed and couldn’t even unroll it all the way because there wasn’t enough room IN THE HALLWAY.

Well, we just got something else printed in a huge way. It’s not as big as the aforementioned banner, but it’s still Larger Than Life (life = my height). Our task was to edit footballs into otherwise football-less scenes. The idea is that these images will be places on a stadium wall by one of the stadium’s sponsors, arranged in such as way as to be 8′ high and 100′ long. People would rather pay us money to spend weeks Photoshopping the footballs in photo-realistically than just drive their lethargic asses down to the store, put some footballs in amongst the fruits and cheeses, and snap some photos.

This is our market. These are our clients. This is our niche.

We’re pretty sure that the next thing we print will have to be put into orbit or etched onto the surface of the moon with a very powerful laser.

This is me…PONDERING THE FANTASTIC!

This is Karl…REACHING FOR MEDIOCRITY!

The footballs look like they’re really there, eh? BEHOLD! THE MAGIC OF MODERN TRICK-PHOTOGAMY

♥ Chase

Last week Chase and I embarked on an urban “exploration” of sorts. The adventure was a success! No one was stabbed by a hobo or succumbed to scurvy and we made the following startling discoveries. We didn’t find a skeleton either. In the drain pipe. A hobo skeleton. With a hat on.

Evidence of beavers, mutant beaver-hobos, or just a really hungry hobo. He would have so very many splinters in his tender hobo gums (tender from hobo-malnutrition).

Jungle thicket. Bambi’s mom may have been shot dead here.

Unbeknownst to us, a red deamon fog was settling in our midst. It continues to haunt us to this very day.

Our triumphant discovery! This innocent-looking hobo den apparently runs all the way under our building. Frothing at the embouchement, it smelt of lye, urine, and phosphates.

Chase staring into the cold, empty abyss of the hobo haven. The darkness is impermeable and infinite, like the soul of a madman.

Conclusion: The darkness beckons.

-Chase and Karl OUT

Heya, fellas! Today I make my (non-editorial) debut here on the Pixelfab “web-log.”

As you probably know, I own 50% of the shares in this company and 97% of the talent.

I jest.

Karl may have informed you (I don’t read his posts) that I’ve been working on the company website for some time now. I started months and months ago with promises that I’d have a smooth, sexy Flash site up and running in just a few weeks.

Well, I basically lied. I’ve been learning the ins and outs of Flash for the past couple of months and the design and structure of the site has gone from Elementary Concoction of Malformed Idealism to One Big Jumbled Mess of Code With The Intention of Becoming an Extraordinary and Sleek Interface. If I were to give a rough (with “rough” being defined as “I’m pretty sure, but there’s a chance that this may suddenly take me another month”) estimate of the progress I’ve made on the site, I’d say it’s approaching 92% done. It’ll be hot when it’s done. Seriously.

The Website: Details

I started out with a pretty decent design for the site, with some vague notions in my head about how I wanted the different parts of the website to move and react (read: “pretty buttons go up and down”). I started making some basically crappy proofs-of-concept in Flash that, after a number of months, have evolved from stupid and needlessly-time-consuming-in-their-creation animations to a heavy, solid code base that digs into the real intricacies of Flash programming. I have, essentially, put my programming minor to very good use.

The main focus of my attention, for the majority of the time spent on the site, was the way the menu buttons move and interact. I figured that out and, after hours and hours of frustration and yelling at inanimate objects, it’s basically perfect. My work now lies in programming a dynamic media browser that loads outside images in for viewing. Once it works the way I want it to (and it’s close, I SWEAR IT!), I can just drag and drop files into a folder on the web server and the website will automagically load them up and sort them into the proper places for me. Web editing will become a thing of the past, like the telegraph and socialism.

My Laptop: Status

In other news, my laptop completely ATE SEVEN KINDS OF SHIT recently. The video card died because of other, deeper-rooted problems. Dell’s replaced the video card twice, and the new video cards have both eaten themselves alive. The up-side of this is that it’s given us the idea for the creation of Safe Mode Porn, which is made particularly for computers running in 640×480 resolution. If anyone out there wants to be part of some awesome pixelated-as-all-hell 1991-inspired porn, email me at graphics@pixelfabstudios.com.

My laptop, Alyx, effed up so bad that she started talking to me in Internet slang.

Startz?! WHAT THE HELL, ALYX?

She’ll (hopefully) be fixed in a few weeks and work on various projects can return to 100%. I’ve included a few images of myself on the phone with Dell’s tech support.

I developed a pretty awesome way of attaching the phone receiver to the side of my head.

That’s canned air in one hand and business-as-usual in the other. This is multi-tasking, which was previously thought only to be an ability possessed by the digital computer.

That’s Karl’s crotchal area behind me. Lovely.

I’ll write about the rest of the company’s goings-on in a later post. Now is not the time.

♥ Chase

frist check!

Today I will take you on the glorious photo journey of: PAYDAY, bitches!

Photos:

Here we see Chase carefully prying open the envelope, reveling its hidden secrets.

Its secrets are so golden.

The envelope’s innards strewn about like the viscera of a gutted fish.

Various clerical duties.

Me queuing.

“I can’t believe they fell for that scam!”

Our triumphant escape in a moderately-priced compact sedan.

It occurred to me yesterday that, about a week ago, I had witnessed two things I had never seen before (all within a one week period): a full lunar eclipse and the passing of the International Space Station (not necessarily in that order). Badass.

Well, down to business. We here at Pixelfab Studios have had some very exciting things happen lately, but we’ve yet to set them in the eternal stone of the Intarwebs. Today, I’ll continue to procrastinate and show you a video I took of an excavator tearing at the roof of an old building (there is no sound). Enjoy!

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THUNDER LIZARD!!!

So, Monday we had a bit of a render day here at Pixelfab Studios. Below is a picture of our r-tarded setup.

So, it appears that Chase and I have gotten off of our respective trick asses a year and some change later. As you can see, loyal reader(s), we are now as cool as the next guy with our new-fangled “Web-Log”. Although we have been “Graphic Designers” for the last year, this alas, is our only proof. Chase is supposedly working on our “Website” but he’ll have to deliberate on that subject (ad nauseam) at some future point. For now, I present photos and video from our first shoot (and yes, they were taken with a camera phone. Take THAT, Daguerre!)!

Photos:

Chase manning the helm as if it were a fine lady.

-see first picture-

The ever so important backdrop.

Chase insinuating that I am, “a something or another.”

Note: not my finger.

I really can’t explain this one.

Video:

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Chase filming.

That’s all for now.

-Note: the WordPress plugin I am using to embed flash movies works, umm, half the fucking time so, email me if they aren’t working, or whatever. Thanks!

Mr. Hammond, the phones are working.